>
>How many male chauvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
>1.  None, let the bitch do the dishes in the dark.
>2.  None, let the bitch do it after she has done the dishes.
>
>What is love?
>The delusion that one woman differs from another.
>
>Why are Cyclones and Tornadoes usually named after women?
>1.  Because they don't come very often but when they do they make a hell
>
>of a noise, and when they go they take half your house with them.
>2.  Because what starts off as a small blow ends up taking half your
>house.
>
>What is the difference between your wife and your job?
>After 5 years the job still sucks.
>
>Why did God create lesbians?
>So feminists couldn't breed.
>
>
>Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
>Because they don't have balls.
>
>Why do women wear make-up and perfume?
>Because they are ugly and smell.
>
>Why did cavemen drag their women around by the hair?
>If they dragged them around by their feet, they'd fill up with dirt.
>
>What's the difference between your Bonus and your Dick?
>You don't have to beg a woman to blow your Bonus?
>
>Why is a woman like a laxative?
>They both irritate the SHITE out of you.
>
>What's worse than a male chauvinist pig?
>A bitch who won't do as she's told.
>
>Why are women like condoms?
>They both spend too much time in your wallet and not enough time on the
>end of your Dick.
>
>What is it called when a women is paralysed from the waist down?
>Marriage.
>
>Why is a Blow-job like a Lobster Thermidor?
>They are both very nice, but you don't get either at home.
>
>What are the small bumps around a woman's nipple for?
>It's Braille for 'Suck Here'.
>
>Why do men die before their wives?
>They want to.
>
>What's the difference between a woman with PMT and a Rottweiller?
>Lipstick.
>
>Why are women like screen doors?
>Once they get banged a few times, they loosen up.
>
>What is a wife?
>An attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done.
>
>How are women like parking spaces?
>The best ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
>
>Why do women have tits?
>So men will talk to them.
>
>Why do women close their eyes during SEX?
>They can't stand to see a man having a good time.
>
>
>Why did the woman cross the road?
>Who cares, what was she doing out of the kitchen anyway.
>