PART 1

 Blow Job Etiquette ( By a woman )
1. First and foremost, we are not obligated  to do it.
2. Extension to rule #1- So if you get one,  be grateful.
3. I don't care WHAT they  did in the porn  video you saw; it is not
standard practice to cum on someone's  face.
> >    4. Extension to rule #3-  No I DON'T have to  swallow.
> >    5. My ears are NOT  handles.
> >    6. Extension to rule #5- do not push on the  top of my   head. Last I
> > heard, deep
> >  throat had been done. And additionally,    do you really WANT puke on
> > your
> > dick?
> >    7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get' it is  NEVER OK to fart or
fall
> > asleep.
> >   8. Having my period does  not mean that it's "hummer week" -get  it
> > through
> > your head- I'm  bloated and I feel like shit so no, I    don't feel
> > particularly obligated to blow  you just because YOU    can't have sex
> > right
> > now.
> >   9. Extension to #8- "Blue balls" might have  worked on high
schoolgirls-
> > if
> > you're that desperate, go jerk off  and leave me alone with my Midol.
> >   10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth,   don't
> > tell
> > me I've just
> > "wrecked it" for you.
> >   11. Leaving me in bed  while you go play  video games immediately
> > afterwards is highly  inadvisable if you would like my behaviour to be
> > repeated in the future.
> >   12. If you like how we do it, it's probably  best not to speculate
about
> > the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're
> > good
> > at it. See also
> > rule #2 about gratitude.
> >    13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about
the
> > protein content.
> >   14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
> >    15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow
> > jobs
> > often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either
> > sympathize
> > or
> >  brag.
> >    16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to
> > "kiss it good morning".
> >
>
> PART 2
>
> >    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A Man's Rebuttal~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> >    1. First of all, yes, you ARE obligated to do it. If you don't we
will
> > find someone
> >  (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will.
> >     2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon of cream is a hell of a lot easier
> > than
> > licking a
> > dead fish.
> >    3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean
anything
> > to
> > you?
> >   4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it and be
> > thankful
> > I'm not
> >  pulling your hair.
> >   5. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is the
> > only
> > way to stop your bitching and moaning. Suck it up.
> >   6. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight   days,
you
> > need all the
> >  fluids you can get, trust me.
> >    7. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we
get
> > the
> > shit end of the stick in flavour country.
> >    8. At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth.
> >    9. Play with the balls.
> >   10. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
> >   11. Caress the ass, too. WE like that.
> >   12. Make hay when the sun shines. It's "wide awake" in the morning
now,
> > but
> > when you get old and fat and looking for some action, I gah-ron-tee
it'll
> > be
> >  "sound asleep".
> >   13. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on
> > your
> > face, now will you.